Transgender Liberty

    The Winter olympics are happening and VD Vance and his wife are getting BOOOO'd by the world. Thats a good thing. Whats funny is I don't think JD understands that they are on the wrong side of history or that their LACK of actions (Cowing and no backbone) and gaslighing (ICE did nothing wrong) actions are visible to everyone.   But thats not what this blog is about. Lets talk United States Football and why it is Toxic and why the Superbowl is toxic.  IMO one of the biggest problems we face as a country is that politics are now being treated by the base support groups as a Red team Vs Blue Team mentality and "our team" MUST WIN AT ALL COSTS....  Think about that. We have lost our way. Its like the parent at the softball game screaming at their kid or at the volunteer umpire. disgusting...  The Current Administration, and its core staff.. knows this. and they Are using the ideal the idea of MAGA... Make America Great Again... as a political platform....

  I'm watching a show called "Dispatches from Elsewhere" and in it there are characters who find themselves lost in some way in their lives. Stuck, lost, numb, confused, hurt, afraid.  I won't spoil it but I will say if you are looking for a transcendent story, of hope, love, magic this is what you have been looking for. And I would challenge you to be 'brave' and put your pre-conceptions, your 'this is stupid' or 'impossible' or scrooge like 'that would never happen' aside for once and just experience the story. Ok... now that I have your attention. I want to share more about myself, my life, my failures. AND my hope..is in writing this down you the reader maybe will also be able to get something from it. Hope.. I hope.  Adler said...that there is "no past" and there is "No future" just now.  As we age, we experience things..good, bad, successes, failures. Some of us are lucky... we have a lot of good and a lot of s...

Two days ago... 3 million more pages of Epstein files were released by the FBI/DoJ. In those files countless redactions. Multiple pages COMPLETELY WIPED / BLANKED OUT BLACK. Many Many Many witness, victim accounts to horrible acts of depravity, violence to both sexes but mostly women and girls.... AND in those documents...many people identified being present.... details...stuff to turn your stomach, strangulation, forced sex acts, auctions. repeated raping.  ok pause... Think about this.. are all these women. these people Liars? Are they Liars because they aren't Billionaires? Presidents(Trump)? because they don't own Tesla(Elon Musk), or run political think groups (Steve Bannon)? Are they just making @#%# up because they are worth less? is that the country we live in? Is that the "Land of the free" we sing about at football and baseball games?  A friend of mine said once... " Usually when someone gets caught, its usually not the first time they did it"  Thi...

     SRC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ6pP3lDFac at video Mark 17 minutes        so lets get this straight.. lets not create real lasting jobs.. .lets not fix our rotting infrastructure, build new high speed train systems, repair/replace old bridges, roads and highways. Lets not invest in our children and help them to go to school or learn a trade. Lets not help our neighbors get medical help when they need it. Lets not work to lower the almost 7% interest rate on mortgages, or the FACT that the average age to afford a small house is now 40 years old.  Lets not invest in our vets and help them to recover, get therapy and the help they need or the training to get that better civilian job.  Lets not rehabilitate prisoners that want to find a better way.  Lets not train our public local officers our local police to serve with empathy and skill to deescalate and enforce laws that make sense.  Rather...  lets attack minorities ...

  So I have been interacting with a Right wing supporter (because I have to) and they apparently travel in very Right wing social groups where they discuss amongst themselves...what is wrong with the rest of us. Let that sink in..... They live in a red state...and they have made it clear what side they lean on saying things like "I don't really like the guy but I think he is good for the country" and... "Hey did you see whats happening in minnesota?, what a bunch of crazy" all of which makes me MEGA uncomfortable, IS Micro aggression, and IS against the Companies Business Conduct Guidelines for which this guy agrees to every year... and... listening to him share (to much) without agreeing with him or wanting the conversation to continue....I learn that in one conversation he had with a right wing woman, the woman says in some social media channel, the following to him: "The Problem with the liberal women, is that they have lost the family system. Liberal wo...

 Its been a few days since my last post.  We live in overwhelming times. We live in a time where a few people in positions of privilege think they can strip the rights of all the common people of the United states.  But they are wrong. Heres the thing. They don't understand that it is "We the people" are a MASSIVE MAJORITY and THEY are the minority. They don't seem to understand that the military is trained to NOT follow un-lawful orders, especially those attacking their own people, US Citizens. They don't seem to understand the MASSIVE BASE of VETERANS THAT SERVED FOR THE PEOPLE....NOT THE GOVERNMENT..THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES, WHO ARE NOW PRIVATE CITIZENS. They don't seem to understand that we the people are slow to anger, but once we get going it becomes a freight train that can't be stopped.  IMO.... they the MINORITY rotten core of our government are so very lucky that most people have love and peace in their heart.    I listened to a radio show...

 We must Resist and stop what is happening. So last week an American woman,  January 7, 2026,   Renée Nicole Good , a 37-year-old U.S. citizen and mother, a daughter, a citizen, a tax paying citizen, was shot Multiple TIMES point blank. The shooting was by an ICE Thug. By a mask wearing, face hiding, gun welding, ICE Thug and coward, who shot INTO HER CAR and then after shooting her, called her a  " fu#king ...B..ch " all caught on video and recorded! And our leadership DID NOTHING(Vance, Kristi Noem, Stephen Miller, Trump) all reacted with something along the lines of ' She had it coming' and 'oh well...nothing too see here. '  which literally amounts to ' you can be murdered and no body will be held accountable, so bend the knee or die'.  AND.. our SCOTUS DOES NOTHING... no response, no statement, no.."Hey that's illegal to kill a citizen randomly arrest that agent".... nothing. they have a cush job for life its disgusting. What a jok...

Read to the bottom I do suggest what we can do to fix this...  So this week, ICE murdered a young woman. Recorded on Video.....FACT! The ICE Thug that shot her multiple times can be heard saying "F...that Fing B..." AND THEN The Administration, Kristi Noem, and Vance both denied it and said ICE was just...following their training...oh well.....    The President is turning a blind eye to it (as usual).   what can we take from this. The Administration supports Murder, The administration sends a message of "Obey or be murdered, or disappeared or sent to a camp. As a citizen of the United States I can only come to the conclusion that the Republican party is rotten. Rotten to the core, is unethical, immoral, and quite franly has become the 'Fourth Reiche' (Rising of a new Nazi and Fascist empire).   It is the only answer.  Our grandparents fought Nazi's and Fascist in world war two. The entire world was at stake. millions of people died in concentratio...

  So....mostly venting here. I recently sought to get a PCP and what a circus....  I spent months (MONTHS) waiting for and receiving a video call with an endocrinologist that is LOCAL to where I live and through a local hospital/medical provider near me.  They were great and at the time it was my understanding that they could also be a PCP. Yet finally talking with them, I told them my story, that I'm already getting HRT through an online provider and need a PCP and they said. Oh... I'd love to be your PCP but can't I'm specialized. So call this number and get one... So.....I called my local health provider number which is HUGE, they have hospitals etc and one center is like 1/3 mile from my house.  So I want to use them and I called and they said "oh we don't have ANY PCP right now taking new patients, call back end of month, we are supposed to be getting some new doctors". SIGH So.... I tried plan B and I called the other HUGE hospital/medical complex nu...

  Its Christmas Eve, one year ago I was married (unhappily), my grown kids were visiting and we were making pizzas (yearly tradition). This year I'm alone on XMAS eve, 2 of my kids are working tonight, and the 3rd is spending tonight at his fiancees families. And my Ex is with her new boyfriend. A lot has changed in a year. So I want to talk about that a little and how it ties into living authentically.  First a Quote. There is a character in the 'Expanse' book series named Miller, and he is about to do something brave and possibly a one way ticket, and he is talking to another character who  says something along the lines of 'you are risking your life' and asking him to consider options, and he says "Life IS risk." OK the stage is set... Let me share a few odds and ends and then I'll try to tie this all together.   A week ago I had my first surgery; Thyroid Reduction Chondrolaryngoplasty, also known as Tracheal Shave Surgery, I was excited because it ...

 There is an idea in Quantum physics called superposition. The idea is that any particle can be in many different states.  The state could be DNE, state could be On, Off, and weirdly...both on and off.  Nobel prizes were given this year in physics for discoveries that pretty much affirm that this is happening in our universe.  Back when I was in college I remember taking a computer science course at the University of Oregon and the professor, who I really liked, was talking about  Schrodinger's cat, which is a famous analogy of this very idea. The idea is.. there is a box and you can't see in the box. In the box there is cat, and either its alive, or its dead (I know a bit morbid), based on the state of a radioactive element in the box. BUT... you don't know, and the state of the cat as a consequence is undetermined, UNTIL you look. at that moment it resolves to one or the other.  Now... this is some pretty crazy stuff right? not really.   When I ...

  Aristotle said that nature abhors a vacuum and he wasn't wrong. I was lucky enough to grow up in the northwest, where nature is still wild. We have massive forests here and the people who live here, love them, we steward our forests and govern them too. We recognize the importance of this natural resource and we protect it where we can. Its not perfect here, but I think anyone you ask who lives here would agree that our trees and forests are important to our well being. The ecosystem of a forest is diverse and resilient and silent. And one of the main stars of that ecosystem is the tree. Standing tall, strong, quiet, and alone amongst many.     So What can we learn from a tree that can be applied to our lives? What I cover next I believe can be applied to all peoples lives but because I'm transgender and this is a transgender blog, I'm going to emphasize a bit more on how trees related to being transgender, yet I think everyone who reads this can get something from...

 For me 2025 has been in my top 4 worst times of my life.  Between The United States election and bad decision making on who our leaders should be (rise of Nazi-like fascism in the republican party). Our citizens voting a smoke and mirrors, snake oil salesman and felon, who hung out with the likes of Jeffrey Epstein(Mr Trump) back into office. From SCOTUS no longer being something I trust. To eroding Civil Rights, to AI and corporate greed. To the rich (zuckerberg, bezos, musk, trump family) and many 1% rich avoiding paying any income taxes completely because of our tax laws favor the rich. To the news media becoming a monopoly(see my other posts on this). To many of our leadership in congress and the senate being polarized and NOT acting with moral and ethical integrity towards all our people.  To daylight savings time...which IMO needs to go.  To long dark, cold nights. To all my personal life challenges. To my ex and I deciding to divorce one day after xmas last ...

More than ever in my life I'm trying to find peace. Get to Safe. Feel safe, and in this work I'm doing therapy and trying to find answers. One item I am dealing with is deep deep resentment. Searching for answers and looking for ways to break it down and digest it I found a post from another person dealing with resentment who said "Resentment is the poison you drink everyday hoping the other person will die"  First I don't want anyone to die, yet this carries truth. I think for me the "Hoping the other prerson will die" is probably more like "Resentment is the poison you drink everyday trying to heal the rage, and anger and hurt you feel that was caused by that other persons actions" <SNIP .. a whole lot of deleted resentment evidence here> I deleted 3 paragraphs of me sharing why I resent. It doesn't need to be shared. needless to say I carry a lot of resentment.   So what do we do.... how do we heal ourselves?  I don't have all ...

  I recently watched a PBS documentary " The Grave of a woman Buried as a Vampire | Secrets of the dead-PBS " (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sNkgsG3qPU) And it was fascinated because it just shows how stupid people really are. They are ignorant, fearful, messy, and horrible. It shows how people in a position of power (church, government) can also abuse that power.  Spoilers are following  In the case of the woman, it turns out she was not from the area. she had a genetic issue that probably gave her a RED growth on her bosum and she may have had other problems or particularities.  Because of her differences, it is believed she led a hard life because she was different, she was likely ostracized for being different. AND it is believed this was ultimately used against her to declare her 'Evil' and a vampire!  The culture at the time was heavily Misogynistic which didn't help her (being female). Because physically she was different she was Ostracized, and based...

 This blog entry was hard to write. Its not perfect and want to acknowledge that up front.  I've decided to publish it as is and move on...  --   As an adult I have been living close to 100% full time out in public for a while now and being out in public means that there have been encounters with friends, colleagues, strangers that were awkward, or transphobic, or ignorant, or flat out aggressive.  People are not perfect and communication is not perfect and some people are just malicious in their nature.  And In all cases; friends, colleagues, strangers there will be those occasional moments where something will be said that bothers you or sticks in your head.  For example, I was talking to a friend bout my surgery date and she says to me "Are you sure?" which I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say that from her side the question was coming from a place of concern and caring. Yet this comment, stuck with me and in a sense stunned me...

  Today I woke up 3 am. wide awake. thinking of things I have no control over, my mind has done that a lot lately.  And my life coach tells me that I need to be able to look at these thoughts, recognize them for what they are and let them go to float away down the river. Its a beautiful metaphor and works.   This morning watching the news which I do a little but not too much because its gotten crazy out there. I learned that Zohran Mamdani won NYC mayoral election, over the incumbent and other candidates who were backed by billionaires and by our current Regime (Trump and his minions).  Zohran's acceptance speech was beautiful.  He talked about the people. Not the billionaires, the 1%'ers, but the working people. He talked about NYC being a place of hope, acceptance, welcoming of Immigration and brighter futures for all of us.  And I love that New Your City will continue to be a Shining beacon of Hope and Acceptance for all people!   Zohran a...

Who wants to live forever, when relationship loss is so painful? and how do we go on living, when the loss we suffer, especially the lost of a friendship or a love and even harder a relationship that was both? It can seem unbearable! In this blog I am going to talk generally about loss, all kinds of loss, and then I'm going to focus on recovering from Relationship Loss due to breakup, or divorce.  To start, lets ask the question 'who wants to live forever?' (raises hand) I do! I would love to be immortal for maybe...selfish reasons.   I want to see and do it all. I want to know the outcome of the story.  Well I want to at least live to see us find alien life. That for me would be very confirming of what I think about the universe. That we are not alone, and that we are not unique. That the Universe (maybe even Universes) is a vast place with other living beings in it. Or maybe we are unique... and maybe we realize something greater about how special we all are.... Bu...