Family, The World, 33%

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 ok so.... an update I tried reaching out to my siblings to build a relationship and found 1 of 3 accepts me as me. 33%... not bad.  I was disappointed though that I couldn't turn the boat. I couldn't get the other 2 to step back and say...

"OK....this is new but I love you and I See you and I support you"

Instead I got the old tired lines of bathroom fear, and sports fear, and men aren't women and women aren't men (binary), and my religion says love thy neighbor but this changes everything.  And I got more shit like "I'm not convinced" thats the worse by the way. suggesting I have to convince them or prove myself to them or get their approval before I can exist! WTF. 

From another sibling I got silence which is fine. because they heard me. I said "Hey I need people who support me, people in my life who would not vote my existence and my rights away and if you can't do that then it is fine we don't have to have a relationship". 

So there it is. 33%. 

And....I would rather be alone... than to have people in my life who say one thing to my face and think another. 

Kurt Cobain said

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not"

Thats exactly where I stand too.  

Crazy....Dogs, Cats, elephants, animals can love unconditionally but humans...no.... we are @#%@% up, pick a political team, follow an imaginary god, die on that hill. Rigid, Messy, uncompromising, thinking we have a say in how each of us lives, dangerous animals.  

There is a saying "Blood is thicker than water" I started digging into this... is it? is it? I put that to the test when I Transitioned. I found that this isn't true at all. I thought my sister would welcome a sister. I thought my brother would be cool with it. wrong.  only my oldest brother was and is accepting. to be real he is the smart one and when I say smart. I mean next level smart. smarter than school. 

so.... I found this quote:

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," 

suggests that relationships you choose (like friendships or chosen family) are more sacred than the relationships you are simply born into.  This is the real truth. I raised three boys, 2 are not biologically mine BUT they ARE mine. I raised them I love them I would do anything for them and I have, repeatedly. 

So ya... people who are hung up on fear and drinking the 1/2 truths of the now Fascist right wing media... they all can go F themselves. Family that says things like "I'm not convinced" suggesting that I have to "prove it" to them or worse, get their approval! Wow.... just way... F offfffff. You SHALL NOT PASS DEMON!!

so... 33% I'll take it. thats a win. 

Thanks Big Bro for seeing me. Thank you sons and their significant others for seeing me, thank you neice's and cousin's for seeing and supporting me. Thank you to my Ex who sees and supports me and her relatives who have stepped up to have my back. And thank you strangers who treat me with dignity and respect, and courtesy as we pass on the street or on the grocery isle. Thank you.




 


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