I"m not going to listen to facts, I don't believe you, I'm not convinced - Part 3 - I need to be convinced

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This one sucks the most.  I'm gonna tell a true story. 

I ran into this thinking mindset from someone I was once very close to. 

The; "I'm not convinced" statement. 

To start I reached out to someone I was trying to re-build/reconnect a relationship with, to rekindle something good. I reached out (not the first time) and told them my truth, gave them my name, my pronouns, reminded them I am still that awesome person, just the body the gender has changed  and backed it up that many people they know have accepted and embraced me. And I know they had seen current photos of me. It was OBVIOUS. I am a transgender woman. Duh.....

So to sum up... I reached out after years of distance, hoping things had changed they had time to process things after years (I had tried before a long time ago), gave them a nice letter, stated facts, didn't ask for permission. Told them I would love to connect and re-establish a relationship BUT only if they can support me being me. 

I got no response.. for weeks. Then eventually I got a request on a Social Media platform to connect.

<Red Flag>

 Guarding my space. I SMS text messaged them and asked them if they were cool with me and supportive of trans rights. 

The response was staggering. They hit all the transphobic bells and whistles "men in dresses", 

"little girls in bathrooms in danger", "men in sports", "men aren't women" and the cherry on top.

"I'm not convinced".

Like literally they said that to me. Like I OWED them a detailed report and a thorough examination and a stamp of approval.

So.... I was like "WOW.... .ok....." at first I was furious. but then I calmly responded and rebutted all of their points. And also said I need people in my life that would not vote my rights away or my existence. 

a few minutes later they come back with "You disrespected me and......"

to which I said. "Sorry you feel that way, cause I also feel disrespected and I don't think we can have a relationship, have a good life" and that was the end of that.

It crushed me. I had hoped in time (been years) they would change. I thought they were cool. They are not. 

Lessons learned 

1 - Rightly protect your social circle. It is better to be alone than to have people who "need to be convinced" and probably on the side; use your life as entertainment and gossip. F them. 

2 - you can't argue with someone that doesn't want to evolve. I tried with this person three times cause I really wanted and hoped they would evolve and see me. Nope.

3 - Transphobic Marriages are the worst. If the partner of the dominate one in the marriage is a transphobic hater then the other partner probably going to follow suite and also be a transphobic ignorant hater. They have no choice. Bend the knee, or get a divorce.  It is sad but it is true. 

4 - Related to 3, some people can't change because they are stuck. or brainwashed, or not willing to examine their truths and facts even when presented with them. They don't want to expand their mind, their universe, their possibilities they are stuck and comfortable where they are. Sad for them. 


So.... Do I need to convince anyone? FUCK NO. and I will NOT DIMINISH MYSELF for anyone. Not Kings, Not Siblings, Not Significant Other, Not 1/2 Friends. 






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