Power Outage: Being Alone Is a Superpower

I get up early, usually around 3 a.m., because I work East Coast hours on the West Coast. This morning I woke to the roof creaking and the wind whistling, a storm announcing that fall is here and winter isn't far behind. I made my coffee and listened to the wind whip around outside.

Then, in the distance, I heard loud static snaps, pops, and booms. Uh oh. Not good.

The power went out. Total dark.

Luckily, I know where my flashlights are, and I keep big candles for exactly this. So I set up, grabbed my charged laptop, and sat in the dark surrounded by candlelight, typing the blog you're reading now.

The outage reminded me how tied we are to our devices and to social media. I felt the itch to grab my phone, post to my "groups" that the power was out, and start doomscrolling. But honestly, why? Sitting there, I realized that turning everything off and just being alone with yourself is healthy. It lets you filter out the noise, notice what's draining you, and simply sit with your thoughts. Good stuff.

My first attempt at a blog entry this morning was titled "Resentment: Mountains and Molehills." I worked on it for a while and thought, wow, this is dark, and it's not what I want to write about. So I started another one, "Cruelty, Selfishness, and Toxic People," and realized... again? I scrapped that one too. I could hear Yoda in my ear: the dark side isn't stronger, just quicker, easier, more seductive. Yup. And first thing in the morning, too.

So I sat back and asked myself: What do I want to spend my intellectual and emotional energy on? What really matters? What kind of person do I want to be? What is my evolution? What projects do I want to finish, and what do I want to do in this world before I die? And what do I want this blog to be about?

Notice the key word: I. Not "we." Not "my partner and I." Just I.

I'm older, I'm single, and I'm building the life I want, on my own terms. As Indiana Jones says, it's not the years, it's the mileage. Yup.

This post is about peace of mind, about answering to only one person (yourself), and about having the permission and the power to do whatever you want. That is a superpower. It's a gift, and a chance to truly thrive in your uniqueness.

It's also something couples often trade away. When you're in a relationship, you answer to another person in some way. You consider them, get their buy-in, their approval. At its best, that's partnership. But it's a real trade, and it's worth knowing what you're giving up.

So let's talk about why being alone is a superpower.

Nobody to answer to. You can dress how you want, eat how you want, and sleep when you want. You choose your own weekend. You can play drums at 1 a.m. You can travel when, where, and how you like, with no judgment.

You choose your relationships. You swear when you feel like it. You arrange your house, your plants, and your art in your own style. You spend your time on the hobbies you care about instead of planning every weekend around someone else.

Your money, your time, and your energy are yours to direct. If I want to date casually, nothing is out of bounds, and no one's feelings get hurt. Your space and your privacy are fully your own.

And what you build, your work, your savings, your future, stays in your hands.

Being alone protects you. It lets you breathe, thrive, and focus on what matters to you.

So yes, being alone is a great choice. I think we're programmed by church, religion, movies, and books to believe we need a partner. There's real societal pressure to pair up, and the implication that if you're not part of a couple, something must be wrong with you: you're odd, or damaged, or have some unlovable flaw. That's just not true.

So... when am I going to date again?

People ask me this. Great question. It's been a while, and my answer is: I don't know. I don't know if I ever will. I like being alone.

But sitting here in the dark and the quiet, I'll say this: if I ever did date again, it would have to happen organically. It would have to be with someone serious who wants a serious relationship, someone who values me for who I am rather than for what I can provide. The kind of partner I need is rare. I'd need someone who also has the happy-being-alone superpower. Someone who is my equal intellectually, physically, and spiritually.

Yes, spiritually. Let me say a word about that. I'm not religious, and I don't like religion. I think most religions ultimately come down to people controlling other people. Do we really believe there's a white guy on a throne managing everything? Men wrote these stories thousands of years ago, and the stories shifted from one religion to the next as civilizations were conquered and absorbed. So no, I don't believe in a man-god on a throne.

What I do believe in is something closer to the Force in Star Wars: an energy field that surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together. Or the idea that we're all made of star stuff, and when we die, we return to it. That vibes. So I'm spiritual in that sense.

And I love my superpower. I love being alone. I love it so much I sometimes wonder whether I should buy some land and get even farther away from people. Ha.

Okay, enough about that. Being alone is a superpower. Don't give up your autonomy lightly. Shine bright, and don't let anyone diminish you.

It's about 6 a.m. now, and I'm still sitting in the dark. The power company says the lights should be back around 2 p.m. No problem. I'm going to take advantage of it: let work know, enjoy the quiet, go for a long walk, and enjoy my superpower.