Social Challenges Of Older Transgender People
Ageism is a thing.....Dismissive, Sinister, Covert... and it is everywhere.
This blog is about what it means to be Older and Transgender and the unique challenges that those people face.
First a comment I have seen on Transgender forums by other Younger Transgender people
What is the point?
I've had younger people say things: "Whats the point?" and "You might as well not..."
*Sigh* this is about as cruel and rotten as it gets. It is a form of ageism, discrimination and honestly a form of HATE of those that don't fit into the club. I would say this to those transgender people whoo think and say things like this. You are shallow, conceited and you are being exclusive in a minority group that literally has a month called PRIDE that is about being inclusive.
I also want to point out that saying something like that tells me you might not be transgender. Cause to say something like that means you are not dealing with the same Dysphoria the Same problems that make one transgender in the first place. The Point is to Not win a Selfie contest or to see how many views or likes one can get. The point is to Fix a problem with the body not matching the mind.
So to those that say things like that.......WAKE THE FUCK UP and STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
Gate Keeping
The other thing that older transgender people face is "gate keeping." I have literally experienced younger people "losing paper work" or applications for medical help, or denied access to discords, because they had made a decision of worthiness or to save a slot for someone "more in need." meaning ....someone younger. This also is sinister and illegal. And just rotten. My advice to those who are older and transitioning; be squeaky if you face something like this, go around it, call a different number, talk to a different person. Document conversations, times, places, who what when where and why. Gatekeeping which IS Discrimination can be handled, just work the problem.
Finding Community
This one is tougher and can have the challenges of gate keeping too. Many social circles are engineered around younger community trying to date, meet, find a partner or partners, having sex..... Soo...a lot of social is wired to the younger crowd, not their fault, just the way it is geared.
Yet with that said. look for opportunity to do things with others, if there is an event, especially "everyone invited pride march" or something like that. go... even if you are a wall flower.
Also I think Volunteering might be a way to connect.
Another Challenge is that social circles get closed. What I mean is people are lazy and when they get comfortable the door for more connections get closed. The "I have mine" type mentality. It's almost like the "Cake Walk" game. Grab a chair... those that don't have one.. .oh well... glad it wasn't me. But to be real... and I think this is healthy it is better to be alone than in a relationship or amongst fake artificial friends or those that are toxic. Get a Dog or some cats and learn to play that instrument, paint, write poetry, send all that time doing amazing things. Friends and people DON'T Define your value. You Do!
This Blog goes into friends and friend counts and how artificial it all can be
https://transgenderliberty.takewhatyouneed.org/2026/05/friends-family-world-33.html
Finding a Partner
This is especially tough..
- Dating apps are worse. see my post that discusses how bad they are
- Finding that someone
Note I wrote those a year ago.... I have yet to start really looking, I am hoping for a natural organic connection. you know, eyes connect then you decide to say hi....etc. Thats the ideal dream :). Is it practical? probably not. So at some point I'll try the apps again. when I'm ready
The Selfie And the Damage It Can Cause
If you watch PRIDE and watch the pictures we live in a selfie age, an age of 'look at me' or 'look at us' and this too can be damaging to your psyche if you are not careful. I have been on Reddit and there are reddits that are supposed to be about community but its nothing but selfies. I have not been the only one critical of this. Like literally nobody talks except to ask "do I look good" or "here's me...again...out and about"..sigh...its old...exhausting..and there are other reddits specifically for that.
I have literally seen some transgender people disintegrate because they look at others and look at themselves and do the compare and suddenly their self worth, their esteem is destroyed. It makes me sad that our world and that so many transgender people are so tied to how "hot" they can look. It is in my mind part of a bigger problem that all people face Transgender and CIS. The Danger is our Value is superficial, and not on accomplishments, talent, bettering ourselves. It is sad, dangerous, and something to try to avoid allowing comparisons creep into your head.
As we get older. we can't compete either. We can look good, we can look great but don't ever try to compare yourself with someone younger. It just doesn't add up.
For me I don't follow any group or belong to any group where the posts are mostly "hey look at me" posts. It is just not good for anyones mental health.
The Dismissive, or Barely Disguised Contempt
I have talked about this before in a way earlier blog. This one is transphobic and comes from not only CIS people but also the transgender Community too. Ya.. our own community. This one is not just an older transgender problem but one that all Transgender people face. I will say though.. I suspect older transgender people get it more.
It usually goes like this.
You go out for a walk and the neighbor gives you the "I feel sorry for you, but I'll give you have 1/2 smile cause you are a neighbor" look. Or you are out for a walk and the two women who pass you ignore you when you smile and say good morning. Or the worse; the couple walking and one of them gives you the "You don't belong here" look... the contempt look, like how dare you exist or trend into my gender space look. Rotten.
This is a real thing...
What to do about it? First F them... they are all Assholes and to be real they have no say in the matter. And to be real these people are probably walking messes.
At any age we belong and have as much right as anyone else to identity, happiness, and self determination. They have no say. And these people need to grow up and honestly evaluate their convictions and my guess is they have a lot of personal improvement work to do. ;)
Age and Doctors
This is a problem.
There is a shortage of doctors caused by federal laws that were created because someone with access to federal government thought there would be to many doctors. sigh.... I would say get in front of this...make every effort to find one that is transgender friendly and is a PCP. This may take you time to establish. I bring this up because older transgender people will have more health problems in time. It is just a fact of nature. do it, get one established.
To share I personally am still looking to get a local pcp established. its brutal out there.
